Fostering Independence and Routines at Home

How are children developing independence during remote learning? The home environment is starkly different from school. Children tend to be more comfortable depending on and receiving care from adults at home. When the home turns into school, where should the lines be drawn in order to foster student independence?

Establishing routines: Setting regular routines at home, in the morning and after remote school finishes helps children organize their time and identify responsibilities for themselves. This also builds confidence and self-esteem. A morning routine can include waking on time, grooming and breakfast. After remote school ends a young child or teenager can decide on a routine for rest, nourishment, recreation and family-time.

Identify opportunities: As primary caregivers, parents can help identify responsibilities children can complete by themselves. Asking children which duties he/she can take on is likely to increase their willingness to try. Give children meaningful chores. Many children would rather help with cooking, shopping for groceries than wash dishes. Children feel a sense of belonging when they know they can make a real contribution.

Use encouragement and forget perfection: Encouragement helps children feel a sense of belonging so that the motivation for misbehaving will be eliminated. A great way to help children feel encouraged is to spend special time with them, doing something you can enjoy together. Children may not do a task as well as adults would. A simple task such as cleaning up can be done without constant criticism and with assurance that they have the ability to do it. Encourage all first attempts and be sensitive to their feelings.

Children are good perceivers but poor interpreters: In order to foster independence, clear expectations with children are needed. Breaking down a task with a time frame in mind help children not feel rushed and confused. Modeling behaviour for children can be a great teaching tool for parents to use

Making a connection: Validating your child’s feelings can help you create a healthy rapport where they feel significant and are willing to open up and work together. While fostering children to become emotionally sensitive and independent individuals, parents will benefit from setting aside time to connect with children. Family time is a great time to boost their self-esteem and get children to feel significant and positive. This can be a great way to celebrate gaining independence.

Considering circumstances: If children are tired, sick, or overwhelmed with adjusting to a change, it may not be the time to introduce new routines/responsibilities. However, in other circumstances, routines can help a child deviate from a negative thought-cycle and look into practical ways to manage themselves. It is normal if they regress, wanting you to do a task after they’ve mastered it. Temporarily sharing the load can help them bounce back more quickly than if you criticize them.