Impact of Self Talk in Managing Situations

Almost every moment in our lives receives a label of either a positive or negative experience. Positive experiences or events like completing a large amount of work or enjoying a cup of hot tea in the rain are tucked away in a happy memory place either in the long-term or short-term and are brought out when we need a boost of confidence and calm. This also is the case when it comes to negative experiences, although it may not have such a positive impact on us because of the stress it causes.

The beliefs or thoughts we have are usually combinations of meanings we have derived from our experiences. These ground us for coping with future situations which may be similar in nature. We all talk to ourselves. It can either be out loud or an inner dialogue in our minds. The way we self-talk can be directly tied into our beliefs and can determine how we cope with stress.

Stress management, especially in times of uncertainty and drastic change such as what we are going through during COVID-times, requires a lot of self-awareness. It may be beneficial for us to look at the way we self-talk. Are we being more positive or negative? Being exposed to repeated experiences of disappointment, uncertainty, hopelessness, and frustration may lead us to a place where we automatically think negatively. When this happens and we hear a piece of news or are planning for an event, we may tell ourselves “Things will never work out for me” or, “Everything is going wrong” .or even “I can’t do this.”

As much as it is okay to feel negative emotions and express them, continual negative self-talk increases stress and affects the way we cope. It is important for our own emotional well-being to learn the skills to identify triggers for negativity, and strategies to overcome them.

Identifying Thinking Traps: The first step is to identify when and how much we are engaging in negative self-talk. We may have a tendency to assume the blame for what happens to us, focus on only the negative aspects of a situation whilst ignoring the positive, or simply expect the worst to happen without logic or reason. Understanding when you are engaging in negative self-talk will help you anticipate it and prepare yourself to think differently.

Accepting Feelings: Anticipating the days when things may be get a bit more stressful, for eg. when there are deadlines, an event, or family issue compounding over work stress, it will be good to evaluate the kind of self-talk you engage in. Tension is expected and we are allowed to feel emotions. The task is to recognise the way we are letting our negative feelings infiltrate the way we motivate ourselves.

Keeping Good Company: Surrounding ourselves with those who are positive and can help us cope with a situation rather than feed into our negativity can be highly impactful with stress management. It is a common tendency to absorb other people’s outlook which can be optimistic or pessimistic, especially if they are close to us. Making a choice to pay more attention to a positive outlook will be beneficial.

A sense of Humor: There is some truth to the saying that laughter is the best medicine. Finding ways to laugh and finding humor in situations can go a long way in coping with stress. Laughter also releases hormones in your body which can offset stress. The language that we use with ourselves can go a long way into influencing a desired outcome in any given situation. For every negative thought and feeling, there is a positive truth that has the capacity to shift our mood and mindset. Keep looking for these truths until you find them.